Broken parts

I dont know what's this. I dont know why. I dont know whose to blame for all this pain I feel. Don't you hate it, when  the one that hurt you is the one who you want to run to just to feel better? Or when someone you care most turn into total stranger? Or you miss all moment you've been trough and you know you can only reminiscing it, without any chance to repeat it? I HATE IT!

On April 19,2010 I wrote about growing old with someone. The one that sing me my favorite song and the one that i can always count on to. Yes, him. But now, i feel like i dont even know him! I feel like such an idiot, believe in everything he said to me. All the promises and sweet things. Cause now, I got nothing except this pain I feel.

Last night, he asked me why I look so upset. How should I tell when it's about him? What am I supposed to say, after I saw his love photo album with his new girl? I cried. Lucky you, girl. I bet and I have to admit that you got everything that Im not. And the most important thing, you got his heart. Whole heart and make me feel like Im nothing in front of him. Thanks! :')

I never felt this way, about loving you.. It's killing me everytime we talking about us. Like last night? After almost 2 month since your last break-up call, you call me! Where have you been, ha? Why now? When I'm trying so hard to forget you and convince myself that i'll be okay without you. Talking with you cant ease my pain, it's getting worse altough~

You know what hurts most? You said to me, that NOBODY understand you, not even ME! The only person that understand and know you is her. Yeah, your girl. Well, maybe she's got your brain inside her head! How could you said that after all the time we spend together, talking about things. About life, love, pain. Remember the day you said to me that you love me cause you learn a lot of thing from me? Oh, maybe you just forget or you want to forget it. I used to love when you yelling at me, try to make me think and solve my problem with my brain not my heart. You're the only person that tell me stupid without hurting me, cause I know, that means you want me to learn how to survive in this big scary and painful world.

Well,  I cant change anything anyway. So I just want to thank you for everything you've gave to me. Your time, your love, your pain, your stories. Thank you for letting me learn about living on my own, make my own decision, and tell me how to use my brain instead of heart. Thank you, boy!

I know it's sounds lame but it's so true. I know it's not right, but it seems unfair. All things are reminding me of you. I'll be missing every little thing we used to do. I'll miss talking to you on the phone until the sunrise. I'll miss crying for you when you even don't know that I'm crying. When I am feeling down you made that face you do,  there's no one in this world could replace you! I wonder if feel the same way to~


Thank you, boy!
Take care yourself.
I wish you all the best in everything.

I love you. I really do.

Just saying and sharing

When relationship ends, two people that used to be in love, starts to forget each other and sometimes hurt each other even more.. They starts thinking why it didn't work out and blaming each other. Other people, like family and friends starts to wonder and asking why they split up, and here it goes.. 2 different story! There's always 2 side in every story. But the real story? Stays between them.

Break up always cause a broken heart. And people think that they should find somebody new to heal and fix their broken parts. Even when the pain haven't gone yet, they convince themselves that their fine and ready to move on. But, moving on is not as easy as how it look like. They have to be sure, that they ready. Ready to forgive what their partner did, forgive themselves for being a jerk, wipe those tears and forget the past. There's one important thing, don't push yourself too hard. Because, when you force yourself to forget and move on, is harder to do it, anyway.

Maybe now, you're over them. That's good! But, remember, a broken heart may cause pain, but the real pain is from the memories! Yes, it's the memories that kills you. Because memory stays in your mind and heart forever.When you're over someone, there will be time that suddenly, something just remind you of something you want to forget.You'll start reminiscing and missing those old time when you're a couple.. Like a movie played on your heads..

And finally they're move on and open their heart for someone new, you saw them walking and doing things you used to do together. You'll tell yourself that your strong enough to face it. Acting normal and pretend that your happy for them when actually you're heart knows that's should be you beside them..

When you're break up and still friends, either you both never really in love or you're still in love with each other!